A Fulcrum for Memory
by Zeratide
Summary: And suddenly there's a light that no one else can see standing there, a figure that can't possibly be there, a figure with silver hair and tattoos and that smile that still makes her heart flutter after so long without him, and she's not sure who she's saying it to when she promises not to leave this time. One-shot sequel/finale to Under the Stars.


Two years ago I finished Under the Stars. A number of people were dissatisfied with the ending; some wanting me to change it, some simply telling me off for not ending the story how they wanted it to end. A few people reasonably asked for information on some loose ends. At the time I had no idea how to tie it up. Given some of the events of Rebels, I found a way that I thought would be able to answer a few of those questions.

* * *

There are times when Ahsoka drifts into memory.

She's lived this life of Fulcrum from years now – she's been on the run, gathering information and hiding and swapping identities and lying so much that it's become second nature for her, but there are the times when she _remembers_ so fiercely that it's as though there are bands constricting around her chest. She remembers waking up on Kironia, being told where he had gone and demanding to be taken there, demanding the chance to tell him what she hadn't had time to, to tell him of the child that was hidden, the child he needed to be there for.

She remembers finding the cloak almost completely covered by the snow, seeing the hole that had been burned into the back, a wound that could only have been from a lightsaber, and she collapses, railing against him for his foolishness, his pride, everything that had taken him to a place that had resulted in him believing he could play at being dark without the consequences. It all comes to an end when she realizes where he has left her; alone in a galaxy of dying Jedi, with a child that had so much potential power.

* * *

It's a matter of weeks before she realizes her situation on Kironia is untenable – the new Empire has a Sith Lord who is systematically hunting down the remaining Jedi, and she is on a planet that provided two of the most powerful Padawans of the Clone Wars era. His group of former Shinobi and gladiator companions offers to protect her; but what could they do against an Imperial battalion? Gaara was gone, having disappeared into the sands he had been born to, and a Zabrak-Kironian-Togrutan hybrid child won't blend in when Stormtroopers are on the hunt.

* * *

The white-haired sage appears to her one night, and she recognizes him only from the profiles she had studied on famous Kironians after the integration into the Republic. He's dressed differently than his once-apprentice had described him; gone were the red and green, replaced by an unassuming grey cloak and what looked like something one of Hondo's pirates would wear. He seemed so much older than he appeared in those images; having trained two generations of a family and outlived both had taken its toll on him. It was a brief conversation; he asked her if he could take the child, hide her from the Empire on a planet where she wouldn't stick out so much, where Ahsoka's life on the run wouldn't mean her daughter was caught in the crossfire.

It hurt worse than finding the cloak when she agreed, and watched her daughter disappear into the night.

* * *

She remembers the day that she is leaving the planet for good, walking toward the docks where the ship that Iruka owned is waiting to take her to Bespin, and that he plans to sell once she is gone before disappearing himself. She remembers the sudden attack by men in red and black robes, furious that their plans had been cast to ruin by the death of her love, that they can't complete it because the ninth creature is gone. The streets erupt into violence, and she hears the unmistakable snap-hiss of a lightsaber, and for a moment she is so sure. But when she turns she sees Gaara, his eyes not the yellow of the Sith but the sand-and-yellow of his inner demon, and he's telling her to run. She does, and she feels it as the attackers disappear into the Force.

Just before the jump to hyperspace, she feels the last one fall.

A moment later, she feels Gaara disappear.

* * *

She watches Kanan and Ezra as they train, watches the Jedi tradition carry on despite everything. Watches as they almost seem to be saying _look at us, we are still here, we are still fighting, we are still ALIVE._ She watches how close they are and she knows what Ezra doesn't, what even the man who was once Caleb doesn't, not fully. She things about how she'll never share this experience with her daughter.

She understands now why attachment was forbidden.

* * *

She's fighting on Malachor, her heart breaking with each blow she blocks and each blow she attempts, keeping him busy as Kanan and Ezra make for the ship. "I was there when he died," Vader says, and Ahsoka's blood chills. "I watched as the Emperor ran him through." She roars, an anguished and tortured thing, and she strikes with more fervor, no longer caring if she lived or died, no longer caring about her former master, no longer caring for anything but the fact that everything she had ever held dear had been lost, that every memory she had of her love and her master was _tainted_ by two mere sentences. Light side, Dark side, she didn't care anymore – she just wanted the pain to stop.

She doesn't realize that she's damaged him, doesn't realize that she's walking away from it all until she suddenly hears the voice, and she turns, seeing the yellow eye. It's her master's voice, and she wants to kill him right then for the split second of hope that kindles. And suddenly there's a light that no one else can see standing there, a figure that can't possibly be there, a figure with silver hair and tattoos and that smile that still makes her heart flutter after so long without him, and she's not sure who she's saying it to when she promises not to leave this time.

It's Vader who responds, and moments later she's fighting again, but there's no more fury. For the first time in so many years, she surrenders herself to the will of the Force. What happens to her now doesn't matter anymore.

She's finally at peace.

* * *

Feel free to review and tell me how I did.


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